Potato Chips For Sale
by Humongo Bob the girl
Summary: A tall, dark-looking English Girl joins Hogwarts and falls in love with everyone's favorite wizard. Will she get 'em, or will she be flattened by Harry's other fans? Read and find out, then reveiw when you're done!
1. Default Chapter Title

potato chips for sale

By Humongo Bob the girl

A/n: all right, I know I'm supposed to be writing 'Humongo Bob and the UOIAB' but this story idea was just so good! I'll finish it sooner or later, don't worry!

Disclaimer: I own Kaurence and Crisanta. And me, Humongo Bob. Everyone else belongs to my hero.   
a tall, somewhat evil looking girl with lots of silver makeup---eye-shadow, lip-liner, mascara, and so on---walked through the grandly carved doors of the Great Hall just as a first year named Chrisanta Emmeelwich was sorted. This girl walked, stately, toward the high table, taking in each table in turn. She raised her thin eyebrows at a Hufflepuff sixth year boy who stared at her, her eyes roving around the Great Hall. She half-smiled at a nice looking Ravenclaw third year girl before moving on to the Slytherins. Kaurence Laytochip, as that was her name, smiled beautifully at Malfoy, who was giving her an awed look. She tossed her hair and turned to the Gryffindors. Ron was staring at her open mouthed, while Neville kept poking the table with his fork, missing his plate. She giggled, taking in this silly scene, then stopped abruptly as she saw... was it really him? Harry Potter. Kaurence blinked, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and shook her head before turning back to Harry. He grinned at her, welcoming, and she stared, before abruptly jumping and picking up her robes, running to the Head Table before she lost her senses.

dumbledore smiled kindly at her, as did the rest of the Professors.

'they all seem to like her a lot…' said Ron in an undertone to Harry, adding a small whisper to a sea of comments that washed over the Great Hall. 'Yeah,' said Harry, 'even… BLIMEY! Even Snape!'

for it was true, Snape seemed to have taken a liking to this girl, clad in Black Hogwarts Robes.

ron suddenly noticed something else about her… her cloak was changing colors, going from red to blue, slowly residing from blue to silver, sliding effortlessly into green. Before he could tell Harry, however, this strange girl gave Ron a smile and held her finger to her lips, saying, 'Shhh!' without making a sound. Ron merely gaped, grinning rather stupidly at her.

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the Hat was on. Kaurence merely swished away all other houses, insisting to the Sorting Hat that she must be in Gryffindor. The Hat believed her to be right, as it agreed and sang out 'GRYFFINDOR!' for the whole school to hear.

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end part one

be back with more soon!   
  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

potato chips for sale

part 2   


By Humongo Bob the girl 

A/n: Sorry to those of you who hate 'self-insersion', and to those of you who feel the need to yell 'H\HR FOREVER!' in my ear. Why don't you wait until the end of the fukkin chapter before hating it? OKIE WELL... Sorry, I had to say that. I'm all for H/HR and all, but sometimes I like to use a new character, you know? If this sucks, tell me, and I'll quit writing it. You better let me know. 

Kaurence Polaytochip walked toward the Gryffindor table, her hair over her face, managing to conceal her manic grin. She'd get Harry yet, she'd catch him... She took a seat next to a rather pretty girl with thick auburn hair, and began to plot ways to get Harry. SHe didn't eat, just sat, head down, smiling mischeiveously, though no one else could see. Except me, of course. Humongo Bob's the name, and I own this fic, so sit down and say your lines as I tell you. ANYWAY, Kaurence was lost in daydreams so, that she didn't notice when the rest of the Hall was leaving. Hermione tapped her on the shoulder more than once before she looked up. 'Hi..' said Kaurence lazily, 'I'm Kaurence.. and you are...?' 

'Hi!' said Hermione enerjetically. 'I'm Hermione Granger, and I'm in sixth year. What year are you?' 

Kaurence smiled at Hermione, swishing her hair. 'I'm in sixth too. Who's your favorite teacher?' 

Hermione laughed, 'I like them all!' 

Kaurence smiled, then stood up. 'Do you know the way to Gryffindor Tower? I'm awfully tired.' 

Hermione nodded, then gestured, saying, 'Follow me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Kaurence and Hermione finally reached the sixth year Gryffindor girl's dorm. Hermione smiled at Kaurence and said, 'I always wondered if that bed would always be empty. Now I know!' 

Kaurence grinned feebly and went straight-away to bed, but not before magicing away all her makeup.   
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In the morning, Kaurence woke up late, stepped on a horribly ugly cat (which she later found to be Crookshanks), and scratched herself while trying to pull on bright pink socks. She finally emerged from her curtains wearing, of course, Hogwarts robes, with the addition of lime green socks (the pink ones got blood stained.. ew..), a black hat with rotating green stars, green eyeshadow and green-and-orange striped nails. Her cloak today was striped bright blue, bright pink, and lime green, all of which colors traded places every few seconds. While passing by a mirror in the Charms hall, she added pink and green streaks to ehr hair, stating, 'Oops, almost forgot!' 

Kaurence finally made it to Transfigurations, just on time. Hermione had been saving her a seat. They exchanged smiles before Professor McGonagall started talking. Kaurence found herself sitting next to Ron, and Ron next to Harry. In front of her, there was a rather chubby boy who McGonagall called 'Longbottom'. She jumped upon hearing this name, but remained silent about it, as she didn't want a detention during her first day. The class ended with Kaurence wondering what was for lunch. 

end part 2 

a/n: sorry for all the short parts. I get sicka the same plot after about 15 minutes... Oh well, maybe I'll make more next time. Member. No lying, if I suck, tell me, and I'll stop writing forever. Chicka Chicka Squid Shady and Goodbye! 


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